About a week ago, I started to hate feeling that it's the final year. FINAL year. Same face, similar looks, about the same set of skills, same hobbies etc,, but it's about time things are going to change.
I hate it I hate it I hate it.
I feel I havent done enough. No matter how many things I've done and how many things I've got, I only look at the things I haven't done and things I haven't got. Perhaps that's how man always feels.
I still feel as if I'm as dumb as I was when I started going for lectures 3 years ago. I don't think I've gained that much. And I'm still as lazy - or even worse lately. I've always wanted to have a ideal, good lifestyle. If you ask me, that would mean:
1. Wake up at 7am
2. Go for a jog
3. Went back for breakfast (bread + tea)
4. ..while reading newspaper
5. Go for lecture with a bloody fresh n shiny face
6. Understand everything in the lecture, or if not, go back home and work on it
7. And work on any tutorial questions, practices, etc regarding the thing that's just being lectured
8. Maybe another sport/CCA in the afternoon
9. Work on my guitar/bass for an hour around evening
10. Watch news, hangout, chitchat, play card, whatever but play computer
11. Go to sleep before 11.30
...
Too bad ideal means it never existed, and won't exist.
And the sad part is I don't get to know whether I'd be happier (whatever it means) if I had done those 11 points or this way.
But now it's too late,, I'll just go on with the way things are. More used to it. Yea. Anyway I forgot to count in friends, girlfriend, stupid weather, hormonal issues, overslept incidents.. so bottom line, ideal things will remain in the ideal shelf.
........
Do you know how dumb it feels like, when you say to a freshman, "I'm year 4." It's like, "Hello, what's your name? Bla bla bla. I'm year 4," then suddenly they're too young for you and you're too old for them. Not just girl ah.
....
menyebalkannnnnnnnn T_T
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Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
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crooked soul trying to stay up straight; hold fast till the break of daylight.
some things are better written than said.
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crooked soul trying to stay up straight; hold fast till the break of daylight.
12 comments:
wow your ideal is like...wow.
hormonal issues?
and I agree about the too old too young part. this super senior feeling sumtime is killing me haha.
nice post anw. Enjoy our 4th year to the fullest!
oh, did you all forget when I mentioned this last year:
"eh, we sound so old already lah just, imagine people asking you
'which year you are in?' "
then you'll be answering
"I'm in my year 3"
And a year has passed
I did try to stop the train....
but it kept moving...
so i don't know how to stop it anymore...
perhaps i'd just wait until it runs out of fuel and finally stops by itself.
aLdo, krasa tua abis nntn UP ya? hahah. XP
@adit: hormonal issues --> tau2 marah, tau2 pengen bobo pas lecture, tau2 ngiler.
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@William: hah. old, rite.
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@Adela: eh eh adeLnya puitis =p artinya gmn tuh? XD
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@reqz: errrr... errrr... issit? haha.. meibi ya.. lalala.
@reqz: ga d,, keknya karena kmaren gw kenalan sama satu freshie cowo (lupa siapa, as usual, cuma bakal agak2 inget kalo dia ikutan dota), trus pas dia nanya gw year brp, gw blg year 4, tau2 dia kek ga mao ngomong lagi sama gw gitu. ck.
ohh. -.-"
gila...sapa tuh freshienya...kurjar n menyakitkan hati bgt. mari kita tunjukkan senioritas yg sbenernya di NUS!! (cieee....)
hormonal issues....u have ur own period i see.
waktu muda gw punya semangat, waktu tua gw punya hikmat... can liao...
bisa aj dalam proses penuaan itu ad hal2 terjadi mike..
I feel I havent done enough. No matter how many things I've done and how many things I've got, I only look at the things I haven't done and things I haven't got. Perhaps that's how man always feels.
hm...somehow...damn right.
I'm in my 5th year.
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